Why does my ex want to sleep with me? 5 reasons!

By Dr. Dorothea Flogger
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
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Why does my ex want to sleep with me?

My ex still wants to have sex with me. That in itself is a very pleasant situation, as long as your own situation allows it. No relationship problems, no compromises. Just sex and that’s it. All this with a partner who already knows and can satisfy her own needs. But how did this situation come about in the first place?


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It is generally assumed that a relationship is over as soon as one of the two parties has broken up. Why my ex still wants to sleep with me was a mystery to me at first. I couldn’t ask them that easily either. She would certainly have made excuses and not told me the truth.

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So I had to think for myself why my ex wanted to have sex with me. If you think about it for a while, you can actually think of good reasons relatively quickly. Here are the top five.

She knows where to get good sex

Why does my ex want to sleep with me? 5 reasons!
Why does my ex want to sleep with me? 5 reasons!

Of course, this is the reason every man will prefer to hear. The woman needs her orgasms and knows where to get them best. The fact that she is still turning to her ex means that she has not yet found a replacement. Or her new guy just doesn’t cut it in bed.

A great confirmation for every man that he is a natural at sex. Secretly, every man dreams of having all his past partners at his place. After all, you were the best of them all.

The connection is not quite cut after all

Even if the relationship has ended, the woman still wants to maintain some form of connection. Regular sex is a good reason to stay in touch. The woman may have in mind to rekindle the relationship at a later date. In this case, she is gambling on a better negotiating position. So there were things in the past that she didn’t like. She is now trying to improve this. The man will first be put on a very long leash through regular sexual intercourse. Ideally, he would then like to rekindle the relationship because he likes the sex so much.

Too little sex during the relationship

Women can also feel restricted within a partnership. This condition is by no means reserved for men alone. All the pressure, the constant consideration and the many compromises can be a burden. A separation can provide the desired feeling of freedom.

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Women don’t want to miss out on good sex here either. So it makes sense not to end a relationship completely, but to limit it to sexual matters for a while. Who knows what will come of it later.

The thing about letting off steam

Monogamy is not everyone’s cup of tea. Especially when you are young, you want to try out different partners and gain as much experience as possible. Once the relationship is officially over, you automatically stop cheating on the other person. So sex with changing partners without a guilty conscience. Apart from that, you should really let off steam when you’re young. Different sexual partners are just as much a part of growing up as entering the world of work or trying alcohol. It is not for nothing that this time is called “the wild years”, and this should be lived out.

Otherwise you may end up spending the rest of your life philosophizing about missed opportunities. That can’t be healthy.

Unfulfilled needs

Probably the saddest of all reasons. The ex is in a new relationship and can’t fully live out her life there. People who are into SM are particularly familiar with this situation. If the new partner does not share the desired inclinations, something is missing. And this something becomes a bigger and bigger problem over time. For a while, it may work to live out your unmet needs with your former partner. But if nothing changes, the new relationship will be doomed to failure in the long run.

If an ex-partner contacts you for this reason, they don’t just need sex. This is much more about helping with relationship problems, where you should provide advice. After all, you were once in a relationship and had feelings for each other.

Those were my five reasons why my ex wants to sleep with me. Even today, although the relationship has been officially over for over a year. There are certainly other reasons why my ex wants to sleep with me. If you can think of any other reasons, please get in touch. Maybe there’s something else I haven’t thought of.

In any case, the situation is good as it is. We both have fun and don’t have to take the other person into consideration. This may not necessarily be the prototype of a functioning relationship, but we both like it. And that is what matters in the end.

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