Sex with an autistic woman – from shameless to submissive
Sex with an autistic woman can involve hurdles, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Female autistic people in particular usually compensate for their symptoms very convincingly. The partner can sometimes even benefit from this. Women with autism are extremely anxious to please their partner. Sex with an autistic woman can therefore be very satisfying.
What are autism spectrum disorders (ASD)?
From a medical point of view, the behaviors perceived as typically autistic are based on a slightly altered functioning of neurological structures. In general, this is not about a pathological malfunction of the brain, but rather about an alternative form of being. It is therefore important to realize that there is no such thing as typical sex with an autistic woman.
Experts speak of an “autism spectrum disorder (ASD)”. Each affected person shows different symptoms in this sense. Not everyone feels restricted in their everyday life. Some, however, are dependent on support for the rest of their lives. Before having sex with an autistic woman, it is therefore important to have honest and open conversations.
The following topics are particularly important:
- Changes in sensitive perception (hyper- or hyposensitivity)
- Restrictions on social skills
- Lack of communicative strategies
- Weak ability to empathize
- No understanding of non-verbal communication
- Problems in questions of perspective change
- Repetitive, stereotypical behaviors and interests
- How do these symptoms affect sex with an autistic person?
This gives rise to a number of significant abnormalities for sex with an autistic woman. Autistic people find it difficult to understand other people’s thought processes. Emotions are sometimes difficult for them to read from facial expressions and gestures. As a result, social norms are a closed book for some of you. The autistic person’s facial expressions can be correspondingly limited.
Eye contact (especially during sex with the autistic woman) is also difficult to maintain, which naturally makes flirting more difficult. The lack of empathy also limits an autistic person when it comes to fantasy and role-playing games. A fact that does not only come into play in the context of exquisite fetishes. The lack of understanding for wordplay is already noticeable in everyday life. Irony, wit and sarcasm are only accessible to a limited extent to many autistic people, which can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings.
However, the altered perception of stimuli is far more important for erotic interaction. Autistic people are sometimes unable to classify touch correctly. Sometimes they are perceived as too weak, then again as too extreme.
The resulting sensory overload causes those affected to overreact. Observers are often unable to classify the resulting strange behavior. Those affected sometimes compensate for overwhelming situations by repeating movement patterns, shouting loudly or lashing out. However, this only happens if the autistic person has not learned to compensate for their feelings or feels overwhelmed and cornered.
Despite these supposed deficits, the range of sexual preferences and identifications remains the same as in neurotypical people. An autistic woman longs for love and tenderness like any other. Sex with an autistic person is actually a matter of course.
Autism in women
Female autism is often overlooked in medicine. Female autistic people generally express themselves less violently than male autistic people. Many autistic women appear to be calm observers with an alert mind. If they stand out, it is usually because of their over-conformist behavior. Their interest in other people is very pronounced. Sometimes they learn behavioral expectations by heart in order to fit in.
If you allow yourself to look past the negative prejudices, it quickly becomes clear that women with autism spectrum disorders can be excellent partners. They are open and direct, show genuine interest in the other person and derive real satisfaction from giving the other person a successful experience. Hardly any other personality structure allows such an intense view of the partner and such an honest relationship.
Classifying sex with autistic women correctly
This means that in a casual relationship, it may not be necessary to talk about the disorder when having sex with an autistic woman. However, young women first have to find their way to this level of self-confidence. Some report feeling extreme emotions such as anger when they were touched for the first time. The problem in this context is that girls are usually only diagnosed in adulthood.
The feelings can completely overwhelm an unenlightened autistic woman during lovemaking. Out of nowhere, one may behave aggressively and defensively, while another may withdraw into a passive defensive posture. Incidentally, this behavior can also occur in surprising and new scenarios. Unfamiliar sexual practices, unusual touches and new toys should therefore be discussed in detail in advance. For an autistic person, good planning is everything. Also because autistic people like to explore new textures and emotional qualities outside of interaction.
Although the characteristics vary, autistic people increasingly show the following sexual abnormalities:
- Long discovery phase (uncertainties in sexual preferences)
- Bonding difficulties
- Sexual dysfunction due to a lack of body awareness
- Material fetishes
- Some autistic people develop a strong sexual object attachment
- Orgasm disorders
- Self-doubt, criticism of sexual performance
- Lack of shame
The fine line between openness and nakedness
It is precisely the lack of shame that often leads to social consequences. If the disorder is very pronounced, an autistic woman may find it difficult to classify nudity correctly. Masturbating in public can also be problematic.
For a partner, on the other hand, who is well able to classify these situations themselves, this behavior may even be tempting. He can see the appeal of sex with the autistic woman. In this context, there is of course a fine line between the lust for wickedness and violent demonstration. Conscientious education about sexual abuse and violence is therefore all the more important for young autistic women. Countless experiences of abuse are rooted in a lack of shame. Sex with autistic women should of course always be consensual.
In many cases, a devoted partner will have to take the moral high ground in joint adventures and should be aware of their protective role in this context. A detailed and factual explanation of all sexual matters helps the autistic person herself (in this as in many other contexts).
Accordingly, an adult autistic woman can surprise you with her extremely wide-ranging factual knowledge of sexuality. Knowledge that she will share openly. The partner can sometimes feel a little overwhelmed. Openness is both a curse and a blessing, as it helps both sides to understand the situation without reservation.
A diagnosis of autism does not speak against good sex
Ultimately, sex with an autistic woman is like any other relationship: good sex is preceded by open conversations and joint experimentation. If a couple can get involved with each other, special quirks can even enrich the lovemaking – after all, what works in bed is always a very private question.
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