What is different about sex with an incontinent woman?

By Valérie Francès-Pecker
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Was ist anders am Sex mit einer inkontinenten Frau?
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What to look out for when having sex with an incontinent woman

Sex with a woman with incontinence is a taboo subject even in this day and age. However, incontinence does not stand in the way of a fulfilling sex life. On the contrary: sex can even alleviate the symptoms for women with incontinence. Find out here how women can enjoy their love life despite incontinence.


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Causes of incontinence in women

Women are more frequently affected by incontinence than men. Pregnancy and childbirth, frequent heavy loads or hormonal changes during the menopause weaken the pelvic floor muscles. This impairs the urethral sphincter system and can lead to uncontrolled urination when coughing, laughing or even during sex with an incontinent woman. Being overweight is also a risk factor for weakening the pelvic floor and therefore for incontinence.

How can the muscles of the pelvic floor be strengthened?

The good news is that exercise can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. It is the most effective way to avoid a wet surprise during sex with an incontinent woman.

➤ To the diaper girl

Sports activities such as gymnastics, Pilates or cycling not only train the cardiovascular system, but also the pelvic floor muscles.

It sounds paradoxical, but increased sexual activity also strengthens the pelvic floor. And a strengthened pelvic floor also increases the ability to feel and orgasm. Therefore, women with incontinence should not be ashamed and avoid sex with their partner, but should actively approach the topic of sex with an incontinent woman in order to be able to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

What tips and tricks are there for having sex with an incontinent woman?

What is different about sex with an incontinent woman?
What is different about sex with an incontinent woman?

When having sex with a woman with incontinence, a few tips and tricks can help to alleviate the discomfort. Basically, sex is not a dry matter. There are so many bodily fluids involved that a few drops of urine are not noticeable. However, women with incontinence should avoid diuretic drinks such as coffee, black tea or alcohol so that they can get their money’s worth during sex. They can increase the pressure on the bladder, especially just before sex. Another tip is to empty your bowels and bladder before sex so that no pressure is exerted here either.
To avoid further irritating the genital area, women should not use perfumed soaps or shower gels.

Older women often suffer from vaginal dryness due to the menopause. This can lead to an increased urge to urinate. The use of a suitable lubricant during sexual intercourse reduces dryness.

An absorbent incontinence pad or a towel that can be washed later will protect the bed in the event of uncontrolled urine leakage during an orgasm, for example.

Changing position during sex is also a good way to relieve the bladder. The spooning position and the doggy position are particularly suitable for sex with an incontinent woman. It is also advisable for the woman to lie on a table or a shelf the height of a table and for her partner to stand in front of her. It’s best to simply try out which position feels most comfortable for you.

➤ To the diaper girl

In addition to sex itself, foreplay with love balls can also be used as excellent pelvic floor training. They are inserted vaginally and not only stimulate the woman, but also train the pelvic floor muscles. The love balls can also be worn while shopping, at the office or on a walk without anyone noticing.

The pelvic floor muscles have to hold the love balls and therefore work constantly. An important point here is the size of the love balls. The smaller the balls are, the more intensively the muscles are used. However, you should not start with the smallest size, but increase slowly to avoid vaginal cramps.

Talk is gold

Communication with your partner is the most important aspect of all these tips. Bladder weakness is completely normal. Not only older women can be affected, but also younger women before the menopause. Sexuality can be severely impaired by concealment or withdrawal, offending the partner and leading to a loss of quality of life.

Women should therefore not be afraid to broach the subject of incontinence and possible urine loss during sex. With understanding and trust, it is easier to maintain closeness and intimacy in a relationship. This can help to reduce fears and concerns, enjoy sex despite incontinence and even strengthen the partnership.

At the latest when the issue of incontinence during sex becomes a very stressful topic, you should talk to a doctor. A doctor can then clarify whether the incontinence is related to a disease such as diabetes, a circulatory disorder or a neurological disease. If necessary, you can then be referred to a specialist.

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