Physical closeness and death: When is it time for sex again after a bereavement?

By Jens Haberlein
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Physical closeness and death: When is it time for sex again after a bereavement?
Physical closeness and death: When is it time for sex again after a bereavement?


Grief versus desire for sex

The loss of a loved one throws everyone off track. If one’s own partner dies, possibly much too early from an accident, the grief is boundless. There is no thinking about yourself, your own feelings and time for sex.
Are there actually guidelines for how long grief should last? When is it okay to find a new partner and have time for sex and fun as a couple again?

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The whole world is upside down

When one’s partner is torn from one’s life and is no longer there from now on, an unprecedented situation arises. Initially, affected individuals keep their heads above water by simply functioning. Relatives and business contacts must be informed. The funeral wants to be organized. Insurances and offices have to be written to and sometimes personally canvassed. If there is no will, it becomes even more stressful.

Physical closeness and death: When is it time for sex again after a bereavement?

Visits to the notary are the lesser evil. Disputes over inheritance are possible and can divide entire families.
Once all that is done, there is time for your own feelings. Suddenly the loss is perceived as real and hits with full force. Regular visits to the gravesite become routine, as does looking through old photo albums. The time of mourning begins.

How long is mourned depends on the individual person

There is no set rule for how long a deceased partner should be mourned. This varies from person to person. Some were already firmly established in life beforehand and can rely on the help of a large circle of friends. Those who have had hardly any contact apart from their partner are hit correspondingly harder. Accordingly, the duration that each person needs for individual mourning also varies.

Schau diese Deepsleep-Frau an!

Nonetheless, the so-called year of mourning has stuck in most people’s minds. If you get involved with a new partner within the first year, you have to reckon with wry looks from those around you. This is especially true in rural areas where everyone knows everyone else.

When love strikes again

What better thing could happen to a grieving person than to be hit by the full force of love? Life seems to experience a new spring. Everything is suddenly colorful and full of life again. You can face the pitfalls of everyday life with renewed strength. Powers you may not have known you had until now. At some point, it’s time for sex again. After all, one’s needs did not pass away along with the former partner.

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And the loved one will not come back to life even if you live abstinently for an extra long time. Admitting this is not easy for everyone. Remorse quickly registers, as if the deceased is somehow being deceived in the process. There is also the question of whether one did not love one’s former partner enough. As if the length of grief were some kind of barometer of love. The sense of these comparisons may be questioned.

Time for sex

The answer to the question of when it is time again for physical affection and love after a death also varies. Once the greatest grief is overcome, normal life begins again. Without a partner, but still with their own needs. For adult people, this also includes sex. Depending on what stage of grief you are in, erotic thoughts may seem out of place. Not a few are ashamed, even if no one can do anything for his, given by nature, needs.

Those who engage in a new relationship after an individually appropriate period of mourning will be rewarded. With a new zest for life, new energy and a second springtime of your own life. Things that once seemed insurmountable are now tackled and mastered with vigor. Life becomes beautiful again and you enjoy the feeling of being in love. Now is also definitely time for sex again.

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