Narcissists in bed – what really makes them tick!

By Dr. Dorothea Flogger
Estimated reading time: 12 minutes
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In bed with a narcissist – in bondage?

Have you ever wondered how narcissists behave in the bedroom? Do you think they tick in the same way as other people or do they have their very own likes and dislikes? Dive into the world of narcissists in bed with us and discover what really makes them tick!


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Narcissists have a special way of behaving in bed. Her narcissistic personality not only shapes her interpersonal relationships, but also her sexual dynamics. In this article, we will take an in-depth look at narcissistic behavior in the bedroom.

The psychology of narcissism

In this section, we will look at the psychology of narcissism. We will examine the origins and characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder and highlight the differences in behavior between overt and covert narcissism.

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Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by excessive self-esteem and exaggerated self-love. People with narcissistic personality disorders tend to put their own needs above those of others and seek admiration and recognition.

The origins of narcissistic personality disorder can be traced back to various factors, such as an insecure childhood or excessive admiration at a young age. This can lead to the development of narcissistic behavior in order to maintain one’s own ego.

Characteristics of narcissistic personality disorders include

  • An excessive need for admiration
  • A low capacity for empathy
  • A strong desire for attention
  • An exaggerated idea of one’s own importance
  • A lack of self-reflection

However, there are differences in the behavior of narcissistic people. Some narcissists display their behavior openly and loudly, while others hide their narcissism and act in secret – this is referred to as overt narcissism or covert narcissism.

Overt narcissism manifests itself through self-confident and dominant behavior. These narcissists want to be admired and put their own needs above those of others. In contrast, those with covert narcissism show more subtle signs of narcissism, such as an inflated self-perception and a sensitive response to criticism.

Sexual characteristics of narcissists

In this section, we will look at the sexual characteristics of narcissists. Narcissists have a special attraction in sexual relationships and often exhibit certain behavior in bed. Narcissists are known for their strong sexual attraction. You have charisma and self-confidence, which attracts many people. Due to their self-absorbed nature, they exert a certain fascination and attraction on their partners.

Narcissists often prefer a dominant role in the bedroom. They enjoy being in control and asserting their sexual preferences. The need for power and control also manifests itself in their sexuality. Narcissists often have different preferences in bed. They like to experiment and are open to new sexual experiences. Their sexual preferences can range from intense physical contact to role play and power games.

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It is important to note that not all narcissists have the same sexual characteristics. Every person is unique and individual in their sexual preferences. Nevertheless, there are certain commonalities among narcissists that can influence their sexual characteristics. In the next section, we will look at narcissistic masculinity and femininity in comparison and examine how narcissistic men and women behave sexually.

Narcissistic masculinity and femininity in comparison

In order to better understand the differences between narcissistic masculinity and femininity, it is important to take a closer look at the behavior of narcissistic men and women in bed.

How narcissistic men see their sexual partners

Narcissistic men tend to view their sexual partners primarily as objects to satisfy their own needs. They can concentrate intensively on their own physical pleasure without worrying about the needs and desires of their partners.

Narcissists in bed - what really makes them tick!
A narcissist during sex – what really makes him tick!

The sexual behavior of narcissistic men is often characterized by dominance and control. They strive for power in the bedroom and want to live out their sexual preferences and fantasies without restrictions. They often expect their partners to fulfill their wishes unconditionally and to serve them sexually.

How narcissistic women behave sexually

Narcissistic women, on the other hand, can have a slightly different dynamic in the bedroom. They are often looking for confirmation and attention and want to be perceived as desirable and attractive. Their sexual behavior can vary from extreme self-determination to adaptability and subordination.

Some narcissistic women show a high degree of control over their partner and use their sexuality as a means of satisfying their needs and demonstrating their power. Others may use their sexual attraction to gain adoration and admiration from others.

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It is important to note that not all narcissistic men and women exhibit the same behavior in bed. Every person is unique, and there are also narcissistic people who can show empathy and loving behavior in sexual relationships.

Nevertheless, narcissistic masculinity and femininity are characterized by a strong focus on one’s own needs, which often outweigh the needs of the other partner.

Dominance and control – narcissists in bed

In this section, we will look at the dominance and control of narcissists in bed. Narcissists often strive to take the dominant position in the bedroom and express their power. They enjoy having control over their partners and determining their sexual desires and fantasies. Narcissists use various strategies to express their dominance. They can dominate their partners by demanding certain sexual acts or making their partners fulfill their preferences. They can also use their position of power to control their partners emotionally or psychologically.

The dominance of narcissists in bed often has an impact on the dynamics of the relationship. The non-narcissistic partner may feel oppressed or neglected, as the narcissist’s needs and desires are paramount. This can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction and put a strain on the relationship. It is important to note that the dominance and control of narcissists in bed is not the same as a healthy sexual relationship. In a healthy relationship, there should be mutual recognition of the needs and wishes of both partners.

Narcissistic interplay between euphoria and dependency

In this section, we will look at the narcissistic interplay between euphoria and dependency. It is important to understand how a relationship with a narcissist can develop over time and what dangers there are for the partner.

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Initial phase: Why sex with narcissists can be intoxicating

In this phase of a relationship with a narcissist, sex can be exceptionally intoxicating. Narcissists know exactly how to wrap their partners around their fingers in bed. They use their seduction techniques and charm to create a euphoric and passionate atmosphere.

They fulfill their sexual desires and fantasies in a way that can overwhelm their partner with pleasure. The intense emotions and seemingly perfect sexual compatibility make the participants believe that they have found their soul mates.

Sexual addiction and the awakening from the illusion
Narcissists in bed - what really makes them tick!
Narcissists in bed – what really makes them tick!

The intense and exciting sex in the initial phase can lead to a sexual addiction to narcissists. Partners become addicted to the euphoria they experience in the bedroom. They long for this intense connection and want more and more of it. The problem arises when the illusion of the perfect relationship with a narcissist slowly crumbles. Over time, the power games, dominance and control become increasingly clear. The partner awakens from the illusion and recognizes the dark side of the narcissist.

The emotional and sexual dependence turns into despair and disappointment. The feeling of being trapped in a toxic relationship leads to a painful awakening. The narcissist ‘s attraction during sex fades and the truth about the partner comes to light. It is important to free yourself from this dependency and strive for a healthy and fulfilling relationship that is free from narcissistic interactions.

The effects of narcissistic sexuality on relationships

Sexuality plays an essential role in relationships and influences the dynamics and pattern of the partnership. When it comes to narcissists and their sexuality, certain challenges and long-term effects on the relationship can arise. Narcissists often have a pronounced need for admiration and affirmation, even in the bedroom. Your narcissistic sexuality can manifest itself in different ways, with both positive and negative consequences.

One effect of narcissistic sexuality on relationships is that the narcissist often wants to be the center of attention and focuses on their own satisfaction. The needs and wishes of the partner can be neglected. This can lead to a one-sided relationship and frustrate the partner. In addition, narcissistic sexuality can also be a form of exercising power. The narcissist may try to dominate and control their partner in order to prove their own power and superiority. This can lead to imbalances in the relationship and affect intimacy and closeness.

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It is important to note that not every narcissist lives out their sexuality in the same way. The effects can vary depending on personality traits, individual experiences and relationship history. The partners of narcissists can experience various relationship patterns, such as a constant struggle for attention and recognition or the feeling of being emotionally neglected. These relationship patterns can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration and affect the stability and well-being of the relationship in the long term.

It is important that partners of narcissists recognize their own needs and boundaries and communicate these in the relationship. It can be helpful to seek professional support to overcome the challenges of a relationship with a narcissist and develop healthy communication patterns.

The effects of narcissistic sexuality on relationships are complex and can influence various aspects of the relationship. It is important to understand the narcissist’s behavior and needs in order to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Narcissistic behavior in the bedroom

Rituals and routines of narcissistic partners

Narcissists in bed - what really makes them tick!
Narcissists in bed – what really makes them tick!

In the bedroom, narcissists often reveal their specific rituals and routines, which differ from those of other people. These characteristic behaviors can have both positive and negative effects on the partnership. For example, some narcissistic partners like to always be in control and take dominant positions. They may cling to certain routines and procedures and may not be flexible when it comes to accommodating their partner’s wishes and needs.

Narcissists can also tend to focus on their own needs and desires and lack empathy for their partner. This can lead to a one-sided sexual experience where the narcissistic partner seeks sexual validation without really responding to the other person’s needs.

Lack of empathy and the search for sexual affirmation

Another aspect of narcissists’ behavior in the bedroom is their lack of empathy. Narcissists may have difficulty empathizing with their partner’s emotional and sexual needs. They are more focused on fulfilling their own desires and are looking for sexual validation to boost their ego.

This behavior can lead to an imbalance in the partnership and affect the intimacy and satisfaction of the relationship. The search for sexual validation can lead narcissistic partners to seek affairs outside the home to satisfy their own needs, without caring about the consequences for their relationship.

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It is important to be aware of these behaviors and recognize the potential impact on the partnership. Open communication and setting clear boundaries can help to overcome the challenges that narcissistic behavior can bring in the bedroom.

Dealing with criticism and rejection from narcissistic partners

When you are in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, it can often be challenging to deal with their critical nature and possible rejection. Here are some tips and strategies that can help you:

  1. Set clear boundaries: Clearly define what you will accept and what you will not tolerate. Stand up for yourself and don’t let their critical behavior drag you down.
  2. Take care of your self-esteem: Don’t let the criticism and rejection of your narcissistic partner affect your self-esteem. Focus on your own strengths and successes to maintain your self-confidence.
  3. Work on your communication: learn to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully. Explore techniques of constructive communication to avoid misunderstandings.
  4. Seek support: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your challenges. Professional help, such as therapy, can also be helpful in dealing with the emotional stress.

It is important to understand that the relationship with a narcissistic partner can be challenging and that you are not responsible for their behavior. Be aware that you need to take care of yourself and that it’s okay to set your own needs and boundaries.

Narcissists in bed and extra-partner affairs

In this section, we take a look at the link between narcissism and sexual infidelity. Narcissists in bed often tend to have affairs outside of their relationship. Their need for admiration and sexual satisfaction can lead them to seek new sexual experiences outside the relationship. This addiction-like behavior of narcissists in the area of sexuality can have serious effects on the stability and trust basis of a partnership.

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The link between narcissism and sexual infidelity lies in the search for permanent affirmation and self-esteem enhancement. Narcissists crave admiration and recognition, so they are constantly looking for new sexual adventures to boost their ego. They tend to feel inferior if they have to limit themselves to a single sexual relationship and therefore look for other ways to fulfill their needs. This behavior can lead to a number of problems in the relationship, including breach of trust, jealousy and emotional injury.

The addiction-like behavior of narcissists in the area of sexuality is also evident in their sexual satisfaction. They are often looking for intense and novel sexual experiences that give them the kick they need. This pursuit of sexual stimulation can lead to a lack of satisfaction and fulfillment in their relationship. Narcissists are constantly on the lookout for the next sexual adventure to satisfy their needs.

It is important to realize that narcissists’ behavior in bed and their search for extra-partner affairs are not due to a lack of love or attraction in the relationship. Rather, it is a consequence of their deeply rooted narcissistic personality traits. To counteract the negative effects of this behaviour, it is important to address the dynamics of narcissism and seek professional support to stabilize the relationship.

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