Much ado about little to nothing
Whether hymen or no sex during the period – some myths around sexuality are still very common. Just in time for April 1, We-Vibe is busting the five biggest sex myths together with sex therapist Julia Henchen.
These sex myths are now outdated
The hymen closes the vagina
The term hymen unfortunately persists and gives the image of a skin that closes the vaginal canal like cling film. However, We-Vibes Sexual Wellness Expert Julia Henchen explains that this is more of a fantasy: “Some people have a hymen, which is a ring of mucous membrane that surrounds the vaginal entrance but does not close it. The so-called hymen is stretchable, and in most people who have one, the hymen does not change as a result of vaginal birth.”
So if it bleeds during sex, it’s not because the “hymen” is torn, but probably because there’s not enough moisture. Julia Henchen assures, “there is no such thing as a hymen, and no one can tell if you’ve ever had penetrative sex or not.” Sex myths abound.
Only penetration is real sex
Sure, the feeling of penetration can be great, you can hardly get much closer to the partner:in. Especially people with penis can come to orgasm well. However, this looks a little different for people with clitoris. In a survey by We-Vibe, 48.5% of clitoral participants reported that they always to almost always need additional clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm during sex with partners.
However, that’s nothing to worry about because sex is so varied and can be so much more than penetration, whether it involves stroking, oral stimulation or bondage. Julia Henchen explains, “Sex is sex when you define it as sex. Whether you are touching, looking at each other, or having penetration – all of that is sex.”
For more variety, attention can now and then be devoted to other erogenous zones: the inner thighs, buttocks, feet or even the inside of the arms are also very sensitive in many people. The sex therapist has a tip here: “Lay-on vibrators, such as We-Vibe Touch X or Moxie, are great for finding out how the vulva or other areas react to touch, what we like and how we can communicate this to our partner.”
Solo sex harms the partnership
Perfectly acceptable for singles, many people believe that masturbation in a relationship is a bad sign. Julia Henchen sees it differently: “It’s perfectly normal and good if you know what you want and what you don’t want. Solo sex helps with self-discovery and is fundamentally different from sex with your partner. So it doesn’t mean that masturbation replaces or competes with intimate moments as a couple.” On the contrary, “knowing your own body, preferences and needs can strengthen the partnership,” adds Julia Henchen, “moreover, variety in sex life can have a positive effect on shared sexuality.”
Sex toys are good tools for this, whether for alone time or together. With couple vibrators like We-Vibe Chorus, couples can rediscover the sexual relationship. However, if solo sex stems from dissatisfaction with sex with a partner, Julia Henchen recommends talking openly about it and possibly going to sex or couples therapy.
You can’t get pregnant during your period.
For a long time, sex during menstruation was considered taboo. However, some women feel especially much desire during this time and do not want to give up sex. But do you even need to use contraception during your period?
Yes! We-Vibe expert Julia Henchen advises caution, because “the probability of getting pregnant is not very high, but also people can be fertileduring menstruation. And you can always get an STD, so couples should use contraception even during menstruation.” Which is not to say, however, that intimate moments should be absent during this time. Quite the opposite, because according to Womanizer’s Menstrubation” study, orgasms even relievemenstrual pain. One more reason to break this taboo.
Men always have desire
No matter which gender you belong to, your desire for sex has nothing to do with it. “Regardless of gender, it’s perfectly normal to not want sex sometimes, and it doesn’t automatically mean that something is wrong. Desire or aversion has much more to do with how we access our sexuality,” says Julia Henchen.
Often, a diminishing erection is also understood as an indication of lack of desire. But beware, an erect penis also means significantly higher blood pressure than in the rest of the body. If this pressure lasts too long, vessels can be damaged and, in the worst case, an erection might not occur at all in the future. To prevent this from happening, the body sometimes helps out. If you want a longer-lasting erection and more powerful orgasms, Pivot by We-Vibe is for you.
These figures come from a We-Vibe survey conducted in 07/2021. A total of 14,669 participants from 17 countries were surveyed. Of these, 6276 participants:in answered the question about needing additional stimulation during penetrative sex, and 48.5% of you answered “always” or “almost always” to this question.