What to look for in a date
Fetish contacts can be dangerous. This eventually involves practices that are hazardous to health or even life-threatening if not done properly. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that inclinations are still subject to social stigmas. Interested parties are therefore increasingly finding partners via the web. That’s why it’s important to take precautions before dating. For example, there should always be one person covering.
With strangers fetish contacts are dangerous
First meetings in neutral places: If you want to find fetish contacts over the Internet, you will practically always meet completely unknown people. The parties involved cannot assess each other. It is in the nature of things that such fetish contacts can be dangerous. Accordingly, initial meetings should be held at a neutral location. For example, a café is a good choice. If the partners like each other, they can arrange a second meeting to get down to business.
Even on the first date, however, the parties should take photos of themselves. It does not necessarily have to be the face. Distinctive features like tattoos also come into question. The partners should also exchange cell phone numbers and still check them at the first meeting. If one of the parties does not agree, the other partner should refuse a second date.
The second meeting: A friend should cover
Before the second meeting, a friend should cover. This means he knows when the date will take place and expects a call at a certain time – ideally via camera. The friend receives the location of the date, the photo of the other person and his cell phone number beforehand.
The following rules must be observed for covering:
- Codes are used that only the person involved and the friend know. “The weather is good,” for example, can mean that everything is fine.
- Messages are too uncertain. When fetish contacts become dangerous, one partner can easily steal the cell phone and write instead of the other person.
- There are at least two contacts when covering: right after the date and when the partner is safely back home. This prevents unrecognized assaults from occurring after the initial call.
- If a person does not report at the appointed time, the covering friend should call the police. The appeal is great to want to create enlightenment yourself. However, this only puts one more person in danger.
If you don’t have any friends to fall back on for covering, you can also find help on the net. There are regulars’ tables, platforms, etc. that offer a corresponding service. The people in question have extensive experience. They can therefore also prepare for the date in the best possible way.
Read also:
– The great bizarre lexicon of abnormal perversions
– The great encyclopedia of eroticism and fetish
– Scurriles from the fetish lexicon: What does “crunchy party” mean?7
– Do Dominas privately also like cuddle sex or only the hard number?
Even at the second meeting fetish contacts can be dangerous: do not share private addresses yet.
The second meeting should ideally not take place in a private residence of the persons involved. It’s still too early to reveal where you live. There are SM studios, special apartments or hotel rooms that offer more security and still protect anonymity. This is especially important if one of the partners or both people have families. Fetish contacts can also be dangerous for them.
Search for testimonials
Online, people can report on their previous contacts and, in some cases, rate the partners. These experiences are valuable aids before the meeting, whether the date is dangerous. Prospective partners should pay particular attention to whether the potential partner respects boundaries and plays by the basic tenets of SSC.
These vocabulary words stand for “Safe, Sane, Consensual.” Certain ideas, therefore, are urgent warning signs for first meetings to forgo the date. Tunnel games (sessions without a code word), for example, are only suitable for partners who have known each other for a long time and trust each other unconditionally.
Conclusion: in case of doubt, it is better to forego the date or ask for securities
Because fetish contacts can be dangerous, interested parties should rather refrain from a date in case of doubt. If no one is available to cover, for example, the risk is not worth it. The same applies if the master/dominatrix wants to break taboos directly in the first game – or the sub asks for undesirable practices.
At the very least, the partner should ask the other person for collateral if the date is absolutely going to happen. As an example, rented rooms in SM studios are often secured by cameras and microphones. Here, in the worst case, help is near. Partners who know and trust each other can soften these rules – but really only then.
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