How to win over your online flirt on the first offline date
If it already tingles violently during the dalliance on the net, the desire for a personal meeting in “real life” grows if the love fire is to be lit. This is the only way to find out whether the virtual magic will turn into the real adventure you are striving for or even more. At the same time, it is precisely these two fundamentally different situations that cause nervousness even in online flirting before the offline first contact.
Wolfgang Herkert, managing director of the online portal lovepoint and expert for sex and partnerships, knows how chat partners successfully take the step into the real world: “If it already fits online and first phone calls further fuel curiosity, there is no reason to postpone a real date. Only a real encounter answers open questions and ensures that the flirting partners are literally ‘in the picture’ about each other.”
As a setting for the first date, we recommend a place where both feel comfortable, which stimulates communication, is lively but not too loud and, in the worst case, allows an uncomplicated retreat. If nature lovers meet, a walk through the city park or a visit to the zoo can create a pleasant atmosphere. For art and culture lovers, a museum, concert, exhibition or gallery will keep the conversation going.
From the classic restaurant visit for the first date, however, dating expert Herkert advises against: “If the conversation comes to a standstill and the unpleasant pauses of silence extend further and further, a menu drags like chewing gum. The classic café visit then offers the advantage of being able to quickly escape if the dialogue doesn’t get going at all.”
The online flirt – love loves lightness
Whoever gets to see each other “live” for the first time after numerous chats and phone calls rightly has stage fright. If you are self-confident enough not to make a secret of your nervousness and admit your excitement, you will break the ice, because the other person is probably feeling the same way. Burdensome topics such as ex-relationships, illnesses, stress at work or planning children and politics are taboo subjects, especially when getting to know each other for the first time.
Attractive and appealing, on the other hand, are those who radiate joie de vivre and talk about preferences, plans, dreams and things they are looking forward to. If at the same time you are interested in who the person you are talking to is, what moves them, touches them and what they can laugh about, this creates a relaxed atmosphere. “The first date is primarily about making a first impression. How do facial expressions, gestures and voice affect me? Can we laugh together? And: Do I find the overall impression attractive?
If your gut is sending a positive signal, date partners should quickly talk about a second date. It’s easy to tell from the other person’s reaction whether the sympathy is mutual,” says the head of lovepoint.
When the spark goes out
If one or both of you discover that the chemistry is not as good as the great online flirt promised, it is still no reason for frustration. Perhaps it was nevertheless a nice afternoon with a lively conversation, in which only unfortunately the famous spark did not jump over?
In any case, it was an experience that helps to orientate oneself even better on the way to the next partner and that gives further self-confidence for the next date. Even if the first meeting is not followed by a second, this should not be an obstacle to further dates with other chat partners. “Rather, look forward to a little tingling and a fun afternoon or evening,” says dating expert Herkert.