Omnipresent longing for sensuality
A dating coach like Nicole Kleinhenz offers counseling and coaching services to people who are looking for help in improving their love life. A relationship coach can help you improve your dating skills and behaviors, build your confidence, organize your dating life, and improve your relationship skills.
What does a coach do in relationship matters?
Some of the specific services a dating coach can provide include:
- Personal coaching and consulting
- Profile creation and profile optimization
- Help with the selection of suitable dating websites or apps
- Coaching in terms of flirting and communication
- Help with preparing for a first date or planning dates
- Help in overcoming obstacles in relationships and in solving problems
In summary, a dating coach provides support and guidance to help you be more successful in dating and interpersonal relationships.
Single and relationship coach Nicole Kleinhenz
Nicole Kleinhenz is a German relationship coach and book author who specializes in coaching singles and couples. She offers individual and couples coaching as well as seminars and workshops to help people improve their relationships.
She has a master’s degree in communication sciences and has also completed training as a coach. Her work is based on an integrative approach that includes various techniques and methods from different fields such as psychology, systemic therapy and communication sciences.
With Datingcoach Nicole Kleinhenz in 12 weeks to the desire date
Nicole Kleinhenz likes to talk and write about all topics in the areas of eroticism, sexuality and partnership. In the interview she answers our questions regarding her course “In 12 weeks to the desired date”, in which she applies her success formula more than successfully with her customers.
Without anticipating too much: Relationship expert Nicole shows her clients in her course how online dating works properly, what obstacles can arise, and what it means to need an “interpreter for love,” as she has come to position herself.
Eronite – Das Eroitkmagazin To get a feel for who Nicole Kleinhenz is as a person: What is your professional background? How would you describe yourself and your career as an interpreter for love in a few sentences?
Dating coach Nicole Kleinhenz At that time, the profession of interpreter for love was not available at the vocational information center. That was not on the plan for me ;-) I had learned to be a dental assistant. At some point I ended up working for an internet company and then became the owner of several dating portals.
I completed the training as a systemic coach primarily because I have and had the aspiration to be able to help the people who approach me and need help in a holistic way. I am constantly looking for new ways to help my customers faster. I don’t just explain it, I give them everything they need to implement it themselves.
Especially in brain research, a lot is happening and it is now clear that nothing is fixed. There is neuroplasticity – until we kick the bucket, so to speak. Change is always possible. Even our genes are being changed. We don’t have to rest on our laurels according to the motto “that’s just the way it is”, “my parents were like that too”.
I’m all about showing people who want more than to consume partners how to become relational. For over 10 years now I have been accompanying people on their way to live life and especially to live the love they desire.
Your personal date coach exclusively for Eronite readers:
This offer is about a weekly personal update with a duration of 20 minutes via Messenger with dating coach Nicole Kleinhenz, where you can communicate with your personal interpreter for love to answer your questions or get support in answering messages.
In addition, a monthly 60-minute exclusive call is included, in which you can discuss your blockages and problems with your flirt coach Nicole and receive solution approaches. In addition, there is the possibility to book a nationwide exclusive search request for you to increase your chances of success in the partner search.
Eronite You are an author, among other things. Does the content of your book play a role in your course and would you recommend that your clients read your book before starting or during your course? What was the deciding factor in you deciding to write your own book? How high is the percentage of experiences in which you speak from your own experience?
Nicole Kleinhenz For my clients, my first book is not required reading. The contents flow in so far as it is important to find out what relationship the customer wants to live in the first place. The relationship phases may also be interesting knowledge.
However, my book is primarily about romantic and erotic declarations of love, 80% of which I had the pleasure of experiencing myself. Customers in my program receive an exclusive welcome package and that includes my book – signed, of course. If you don’t want to wait, you can win it here at Eronite in the raffle: www.eronite.com/buchverlosung-erfolgsformel-liebe-handsigniert
Get off to a flying start with the well thought-out 12-week program
Eronite 2022 then your 12-week program was born out of the idea of applying your knowledge as a mental coach and certified relationship coach and bringing it to the world. Empathizing with your customers is as much a part of your job as open and honest communication from both sides. How exactly do you make sure you’re picking clients that fit your program? Or to put it another way, how does a potential customer find out if you have the right offer for them?
Nicole Kleinhenz The people who contact me usually already know me from the media, have done additional research and may have already had contact with me. The customer therefore already knows pretty much how I work and has already decided internally to work with me.
People whom I have already accompanied exclusively for several months or a year came to me through recommendations. This accompaniment could be used only through a recommendation.
However, as demand grew, I devised a 12-week program that incorporates my accumulated experience. I notice more and more that our relationship world is changing and many are overwhelmed with it and with the topic of online dating.
In our first free meeting, the customer can find out together with me whether we harmonize and whether I am the right person for his issues. If we both say YES without hesitation, the journey begins for my client.
“I am absolutely not a coach for the faint of heart”.
Eronite How can we imagine this? You have an individual initial conversation with your potential customer and during this conversation you get as accurate a picture as possible of the type of person you are dealing with. Do potential customers trust you directly with their wishes and needs? Would you say you talk a lot to people who are blunt and straightforward, or are they more hesitant in their initial contact with you? How do you reconcile the different ideas of your customers? Do you have a specific idea of how the group should ideally be composed?
Nicole Kleinhenz For the customer, 99% of the time I am not a complete stranger. They were recommended to me by people who had already achieved success with me or were able to experience me through interviews, columns or TV appearances. That way, I think you already know pretty much how I work. On top of that, until now, everyone who didn’t come to me via a referral had previously browsed my content via social media or my website.
The process is then as follows: Before our initial meeting, I send the customer a few questions so that he knows it’s getting down to the “nitty gritty” – and so that I can already bring relief in the initial meeting if something sticks. I am not a coach for the faint of heart, I want change and that only works with mutual openness and that is not always painless. I want everyone to move on as quickly as possible and get along without me as soon as possible. My customers appreciate that and that’s the only way I work.
So far, everyone has openly expressed their motivations, pains, desires, dreams et cetera, I am, after all, subject to secrecy. I always say, “Think of me as your best friend, you can tell me anything, with the difference, I don’t judge and evaluate you, the more open you communicate, the faster you move forward.”
My clients get to decide for themselves if they are interested in sharing in the group. It is an offer and does not have to be used. If we do a virtual exchange where I think one or the other would benefit, this is always possible anonymously. There is no must, only a lot of can and may. :-)
“I talk to my customers relentlessly in plain language”.
Eronite Are you also often confronted with erotic matters or even taboo topics from the beginning? – Provided you would confirm that there are still “real taboo subjects” today. So, are there any requests that you say aren’t properly placed with you so that you can deliver on your promise of success?
Nicole Kleinhenz First and foremost, people come to me who are tired of being alone. They also no longer want to be a consumer good in a swipe and go society. You want to bring consistency into your life. I’m noticing more and more that there’s a shift in mindset because many want more than to be interchangeable.
People who are looking for a way to live out their sexuality and don’t really want anything fixed don’t really need me, sure, I’m there to help too, but it only takes one session. We talk frankly and I advise how it could work. Drops sucked. I’ve had clients come to me completely nervous and obviously scared because they thought I would judge them for their fantasies, preferences or lifestyle. Someone looking for the next sexual thrill is better off with a sex coach, should they really need support.
As a customer, you benefit from my experience as a flirt coach and portal operator of a dating portal. On top of that, I dated online myself a few years ago as a single person, so I know exactly how it feels and where the stumbling blocks are. So with me you have the background knowledge combined with my own experience and my many years of work as a dating coach and mental trainer. This allows me to offer the customer a total package and brings the appropriate empathy.
I only accept clients into my program who are fundamentally ready for change. If I notice that additional support may be needed, I have a network of doctors, therapists and experts, all of whom I know personally myself. Sometimes other things need to be cleared up beforehand, such as when there is trauma. If there are other motivations such as “how can I pick up a maximum number of people” I refuse.
However, I had both cases very rarely. Anyone who has the desire to stabilize their relationship life or live a relationship the way they want is in the right place with me for now. The customer can decide whether my strategy is the right one.
Customers book the appointments when they need Nicole
Eronite Tied into that: Who is your course offering aimed at? Is there an age limit? How exactly do you implement the appointments and coaching sessions so that everyone in the group can benefit from your knowledge and experience? What strategy do you follow so that each participant can develop solutions tailored to him or her? And how, for example, do you engage a participant in the group who would rather remain anonymous during group appointments?
Nicole Kleinhenz My offer is aimed, regardless of age, at people who feel lost in the online dating jungle, at those who want to develop as a partner to lead a relationship at eye level. There is no age limit. Each participant has access to my calendar and books in independently – when they need me. Over the years, I have developed my own strategy, which I continue to optimize through new knowledge. It is a combination of coaching, mental training and if desired hypnosis. Every customer stands somewhere else.
All my content is prepared in such a way that I can give the customer immediate input exactly where he is at the moment. It can be videos, exercises or live calls. We discuss everything together and it always depends on the goal of the customer and where he is looking at the moment. Someone who comes to me with acute heartbreak, I first accompany differently than someone who first needs clarity about what he wants.
In the beginning, I knit the dates a little closer together and push the client massively beyond their limits. Towards the end, I let him implement more and more on his own. My goal is to give the customer wings again, with which he can reach higher than before.
I always put together our group calls individually with my team. I know who fits in best where and if he or she wants to. Anyone may participate anonymously. Discretion is one of our top priorities.
Over 20 years of dating and consulting experience speaks for itself
Eronite So is it fair to say that your 12-week course is primarily about supporting individuals, and that the group sessions are more about sharing experiences, inspiring each other, and finding more ideas? There are certainly topics that, at a certain point, present a hurdle – or as you like to call it – “stumbling block” for any participant. How do you approach these deeper issues? If therapeutic need emerges, how do you proceed?
Nicole Kleinhenz Yes, first and foremost it’s about supporting each individual. The group appointments are a goodie to share. If I realize that a group appointment doesn’t currently make sense, I add an additional call with the customer. My support is very flexible and individual. The only thing I have as a building block is info that keeps repeating. With over 10 years, you know what topic comes up again and again with everyone or what questions are constantly repeated.
The stumbling blocks show themselves to me very quickly. As soon as I realize it’s time, we pull the root together. The customer should understand what is happening so that he can implement it himself later. I do not think much of drilling into the past, this is also very rarely necessary. Talking about the past nevertheless creates relief for one or the other.
For example, when we go to the doctor with an injury, it doesn’t always matter for treatment where that injury came from. Sometimes it is only enough to find new ways to avoid experiencing this injury again. Like a navigation system, I help to find and establish a new route – until it works without a navigation system.
I am basically a very sociable person, however, I want to see my customers freely and independently of me and lead them there. There is then also sometimes a forced separation, so that it does not come to the dependence of the customer.
I have developed my program according to the latest findings with doctors and therapists, normally no therapeutic approach is necessary. If it does, I can refer the customer to an expert in my network if that’s what they want, and we’ll just move on when they’re ready.
Each client is exclusively accompanied and coached
Eronite Does it ever happen that a group participation develops into exclusive care? How exactly is this different from your group offering? Is there any way to book this more intensive work with you outside of your course? How and where can one inquire about a collaboration with you?
Nicole Kleinhenz For the client, my program is not a group participation. However, to the 12-week program, I also work more exclusively and closely with those clients who want it. There I take over everything and am in daily exchange. Many entrepreneurs who have little time can take advantage of this with me. There I accompany then in each area, which hakt, as for example love, communication, health and business. Having been an entrepreneur myself for 20 years, I know the challenges of balancing love and job into a healthy work-love balance.
Eronite Can you describe the rough flow of the twelve weeks? Are there fixed building blocks and tools that are used? Are questions like
- What does the customer need?
- What has been the customer’s experience so far?
- What form of relationship is being sought?
- What do you want for your future relationship?
- How to write the perfect first message?
- How to answer the very first message correctly?
answered and how do you go about evaluating the answers so that they are valuable to your group offering?
Nicole Kleinhenz In the initial consultation, the client defines his goal, which he would like to achieve with my support. Depending on where he stands at the moment, he gets tools from me that he can use at our next appointment. In the exclusive escort, I do this together with the client.
I look closely at where the customer is coming from, what has he already experienced. Whereby the past and digging around in it are secondary to my success. However, this makes it easier for the customer to become clear what his future should now look like. What relationships did he have, what do you think failed him? What relationship does he want to live in the future? What kind of relationship does he want to live? How does the customer want to meet someone, online or offline, what have they already tried?
Because I am in regular contact with the customer, there is always the opportunity to clarify any unresolved issues. The above mentioned questions will be clarified as well as the creation of the profiles, if necessary. Advice on which platforms make sense.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for the customer, only individual
Eronite So you’re helping your participants sort these issues out. What about profiles on different platforms? Are you going through existing profiles together? Do you discard or even occasionally delete profiles? If so, what criteria do you use? Are you creating new profiles together? To what extent does the work on your participants’ profiles take place? Are we talking about selecting suitable photos or taking suitable photos for the first time in the first place? Are profile texts developed together? In what ways do you assist in responding to messages that your customers might then receive on a daily basis?
Nicole Kleinhenz I go through the existing profiles with the customer and pimp them together with the customer. If something doesn’t make sense, we delete it too. It all depends on who the customer is and what they want. I can’t have a blanket solution that always works one hundred percent for every customer. What worked for one may not fit the next because he is a completely different type. :-)
This is always analyzed individually and decided with the customer. The customer shows me pictures of themselves that they would choose and I see if it fits what they are looking for. If the client wants, we organize a shoot with a photographer according to our specifications.
With the messages, I go through the first five together with him if he wants me to. After that, it works normally on its own. Since my program includes daily support, customers can contact me five days a week if they have questions or get stuck. He also always gets all the latest info from me in a bite-sized format. Sometimes I suddenly have a potential partner in my network or an event that might be of interest to him.
Especially female customers I protect from scammers
Eronite You might think that dating in today’s world is seen by many as a competition. The multitude of apps and websites also doesn’t make it particularly easy to get to the right one or the right person. How do you manage to explain to your participants that dating should not be forced and especially should not be done in a fighting mode?
Nicole Kleinhenz In my view, online dating is not species-appropriate and we have not learned how to deal with it. It definitely makes it easier to get to know someone. At the same time, many are in constant optimization mode, something better might come along.
That’s pretty easy to get across to my client, the only question is whether it will be implemented :-). I can also live a relationship out of struggle, the only question is, is it the relationship I actually really want?
Eronite Does your recommendation even go to not responding to certain messages? At what point exactly does your work as an interpreter for love begin? Does that basically mean that you help prevent misunderstandings and read between the lines, or how can you think of that? For example, what do you think about the message “I’m curious about you”?
Do you think they are contemporary and appropriate or do you find them rather clumsy? Talking out of the box: What might an answer to such a question look like?
Nicole Kleinhenz Yes, definitely. You don’t have to answer everything. When I do all the online dating for a client, I block many prospects hard from the start. I know what the customer wants and I have the intuition through my over 20 years of experience as a dating portal operator, with whom it makes sense to react or not. Especially my female customers I protect so from scammers. I also save my male clients from getting to a lady who has other motivations than finding the love of their life. I’m sort of like a firewall or a bodyguard in between.
Among other things, I accompany entrepreneurs and especially if you are financially independent, whether man or woman, it is important to pay attention to what interests are really behind it.
At the message “I’m curious about you,” I think, “Now laugh!” If the message is sent as the first message, as was the case here, I would say it is expandable. Quite simply, if you just want to find someone to have fun with horizontally or maybe vertically (I have pictures in my head), you can do that. However, this was about something more, both are looking for a relationship.
Simple rule: would you address someone like that if he or she was standing next to you at the bar? Someone you’re really excited about, someone you really want to get to know, and you definitely don’t want to screw it up?
This first message is not the worst, but definitely expandable. However, I always look at the big picture. It’s not just the writing that’s important, it’s the complete package.
“Many customers don’t have access to their emotions at first”
Eronite How important is your gut feeling when looking for a partner? Would you say that your course helps your participants to gradually rely on their intuition again? What exactly does intuition mean to you and why do you consider it an essential part of dating? How do you think online dating differs from offline dating in terms of intuition?
Nicole Kleinhenz From my point of view, our intuition is very important. Especially when looking for a partner, it is about something very emotional, so why leave out the gut feeling? Unfortunately, we have let ourselves be trained away from our intuition and suppress it. Many of my clients also don ‘t initially have access to their emotions. They are very dissociated from it, which is not bad. However, if someone wants access to this again, I accompany him (or her) also in this.
Offline, we know within seconds whether we find someone interesting or not. Online, this is more difficult. Often you get caught up in something before you’ve even seen the other person. That’s because we’re putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. Offline you see someone, hear them, smell them, experience them with their facial expressions and gestures and know immediately – YES or NO.
It’s also more casual because you just get to know people and develop a little bit. First of all, you don’t know whether the other person is free and looking for something, and if he is looking for something, what he wants. It is still a cautious approach and getting to know each other. This important step is completely skipped in online dating.
You see a picture, you write back and forth. By the time you meet for the first time, it can happen that you project too much and idealize the other person. Then the meeting comes and everything fades out, all the alarm bells are turned off. So many slip from one short story to the next.
Eronite Do you find that people today tend to shy away from meeting someone for real? Is there an approximate period of time in which you only exchange information virtually for the time being? Or do dates sometimes take place after a few hours in the chat?
Nicole Kleinhenz I recommend meeting as soon as possible. Chat quickly phone if everything fits as soon as possible meet everything else quickly backfires. Otherwise, too much is projected into it.
Implement jointly developed goals and strategies
Eronite What has been the experience of your participants so far? We think you are talking about getting desired dates in the shortest time possible with your course offer. When exactly can you expect to meet for the first time? Is it too optimistic to wish to have a first wish date while you are still in your course?
Nicole Kleinhenz I guarantee more wishful dating, that’s right. With me, there is also the money back if there is no success to before. Of course, I can’t let a partner come out of the 3D printer or have a portfolio of suitable partners. If the client cooperates and implements our jointly developed goals and strategies, he will have more successes and, if he wants, more dates. Of course, there is no money back if the customer refuses to data. [Nicole grins; annotation d. Ed.]
Your personal date coach exclusively for Eronite readers:
This offer is about a weekly personal update with a duration of 20 minutes via Messenger with dating coach Nicole Kleinhenz, where you can communicate with your personal interpreter for love to answer your questions or get support in answering messages.
In addition, a monthly 60-minute exclusive call is included, in which you can discuss your blockages and problems with your flirt coach Nicole and receive solution approaches. In addition, there is the possibility to book a nationwide exclusive search request for you to increase your chances of success in the partner search.
Eronite How do you ensure that your customers are in the right hands, even in the long term? Is it safe to assume that you can be contacted and kept up to date even after a successful collaboration? Are you perhaps offering a package for continuing guidance – as needed?
Nicole Kleinhenz I’ll still be there afterwards. I’m not just there for dating, after all, the goal is to continue the relationship harmoniously and get through the pitfalls after the infatuation phase. Every customer with me has the possibility – if he wants – to continue after that. There is a subscription for 499 euros, where we exchange information once a month by video call and weekly on a fixed day by e-mail or Messenger – preferably by voicemail – about the state of affairs. Some clients are with me for a year because they want to completely redesign their lives and I guide them through each challenge. One client had blockages, and they affected his health and rippled through his relationship life as well as his job. I first took inventory with him, then cleaned up one piece at a time. His health was restored after barely two months – now he is open to a job change and his relationship.
“There is no generation incapable of relationships”.
Eronite We understand: Whether in a group or exclusively, you see yourself as a mediator in matters of love. You have a clear goal of helping your clients achieve sustainable relationships and lives filled with love. Finally, do you have a message that you would like to share with our readers?
Nicole Kleinhenz There is no generation incapable of relationships and there is no need for constant therapy. We are allowed to take things easy again and live a relationship with ease. To give in and surrender unconditionally is often not so easy anymore, but it is the only way to experience unconditional love.
Finding happiness and love within us is not easy, however, neither happiness nor love is a product that can be consumed. It always starts with us and within us. If we always have the same painful experiences, then the only common denominator is ourselves – and that’s where my work starts.
Eronite Thank you very much for the interview, dear Nicole – your words have inspired us very much and we are sure that our readers can also benefit from your experience. We wish you all the best and maximum success. But not only to you, but also and especially to your customers!
While a date coach like Nicole Kleinhenz focuses primarily on helping individuals who are struggling to have a fulfilling love life, couples counseling focuses on helping couples who are already in a relationship and want to improve their relationship.
Couples counseling can help repair an already existing relationship by resolving communication issues, addressing conflicts, and providing assistance in overcoming challenges that may arise in the relationship. A couples therapist typically works with both partners to help them strengthen their relationship by offering techniques such as conflict resolution, couple communication, intimacy enhancement, and shared goal setting.
Read also:
– Online dating: chance of finding true love?
– Top dating tips for men from a woman
– That’s why your boyfriend looks after other women
– Two men, one woman – does this love triangle work?
– Why women lose interest after the first date
In contrast, a dating coach like Nicole Kleinhenz can also help individuals improve their relationship skills and confidence in the dating process before they enter into a relationship. A dating coach can help you identify and select appropriate candidates, ask the right questions, and apply the appropriate behaviors to be more successful in dating and interpersonal relationships.
Die Buch-Empfehlung unseres Chefredakteurs Mario Meyer:
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