The grey spectrum of sexual orientations
Many people can hardly imagine that there are adults who have no interest in sex. There are many rumours about asexuality, such as that it is a mental disorder. But asexuality is a normal sexual orientation.
Asexuality has two meanings: On the one hand, it means that you have no interest at all in sexual activities. However, the term usually refers to a sexual orientation.
The sexual orientation of a person can be described by several terms. Terms such as homosexual or heterosexual explain on which sexes a person’s sexuality is directed. In addition, there are also the terms of the so-called grey spectrum. These describe in which straight line we feel sexually attracted by others.
People who are asexual do not feel sexually attracted to other people. For this reason, they often have no interest in sex. But that does not have to be the case. There are many reasons to have sex. Some people have sex for money or for the sake of a partner. Having no interest in sex does not necessarily mean finding sex repulsive or unpleasant. Some even enjoy sex. It’s just not that they get to know someone and find that person particularly attractive. Instead, they may simply enjoy having sex with a person they trust.
The grey spectrum of romantic orientations
Asexuality is one side of the grey spectrum. It is often symbolized by the color black. On the other hand, there is hypersexuality, which describes people who are sexually attracted to many or many things. Autosexuality is also closely related. Some people prefer masturbation to sex with others. Demisexuality describes the sexual orientation of people who only fall in love when they know someone better. It is symbolized by the color gray. Demisexual people find others sexually attractive. But they first need a long, good conversation or even months of contact.
Im Alltag werfen wir sexuelle und romantische Orientierungen oft durcheinander. Wir gehen davon aus, dass eine Person, die Männer sexuell anziehend findet, Männer auch romantisch anziehend findet. Anders gesagt “schwul ist schwul und nicht heterosexuell”. Sexuelle und romantische Orientierung können aber voneinander abweichen. Manchen Menschen sind zum Beispiel bisexuell, können sich eine romantische Beziehung aber nur mit einer Frau vorstellen. Aromantik bezeichnet Personen, die keine romantische Anziehung verspüren. Manche aromantsiche Menschen haben kein Interesse an Sex. Andere sind sogar hypersexuell.
No interest in sex – isn’t that a pity?
Many people love sex and have a hard time imagining their life without it. Today we live in a society that accepts this as far as possible and gives us the opportunity to live it. People talk a lot about sex and the media are full of it. Anyone who lives in such a world and realises at some point that they have no or less interest in sex is initially insecure. But it is important to recognize one’s own sexual orientation. Especially to decide if and what role sex should play in one’s own life.
When someone says that they have no interest in sex, many people hardly want to believe that. We usually hear the opposite. The media tell us that people are sexual. But to claim that all people have to be sexual is just as illogical as to claim that all people are heterosexual. It simply does not correspond to reality.
Many people are uncomfortable with this topic. The last century was a century of sexual liberation. Many people still have to emancipate themselves sexually with difficulty today. When someone then says he has no interest in sex, many feel attacked and react defensively. The fact that a person has no interest in sex does not necessarily mean that they have a negative attitude towards sex in general.