Vor- und Nachteile einer Dreierbeziehung

By Valérie Francès-Pecker
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Vor- und Nachteile einer Dreierbeziehung
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What does the life of a trio look like in practice?

Most people in relationships live together as couples, whether heterosexual or homosexual couples. From time to time, however, there are unusual constellations outside these standards, such as a love triangle. The advantages and disadvantages of such a three-way relationship are illuminated in more detail in the following text.

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Vor- und Nachteile einer DreierbeziehungWhat is a three-way relationship?

Before we talk about the pros and cons of a three-way relationship, we first need to get a few ambiguities out of the way. A triangular relationship is a so-called polyamorous relationship. That means the people in this relationship all love each other, respect each other, and are open and honest with each other.

Unlike an open relationship, free love and similar forms of cohabitation, a polyamorousThreesome relationship is not only about sex, but also about the relationships of the participants in everyday life. That’s where the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship quickly become apparent.

What are the advantages of a three-way relationship?

When the topic of the pros and cons of a threesome relationship comes up, many (especially men) think first and foremost of sex. Of course, in a three-way relationship there is more variety in sex than in a couple. A threesome, for example, is more of a standard program there than the absolute exception.

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On the point of advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, the three-way relationship convinces, among other things, by the fact that the burdens are distributed on three pairs of shoulders. This allows the individual to carry them significantly easier than in a couple relationship. This applies, for example, to rent and electricity costs, expenses for food or for insurance and the like.

Household tasks such as cleaning, shopping, laundry and ironing are done together. This reduces the burden on the individual and leaves more free time. Even when it comes to raising children, the tasks are shared, reducing the burden on the individual. As you can see, the topic of advantages and disadvantages of a threesome relationship is not primarily about sex at all, but rather about practical living together in everyday life.

Vor- und Nachteile einer DreierbeziehungWhat are the disadvantages of a three-way relationship?

There are good reasons why few people live in a three-way relationship. When you weigh the pros and cons of a three-way relationship, you quickly see that the cons outweigh the pros. The biggest factor that plays a role in the topic of advantages and disadvantages of a threesome relationship is the prejudices and narrow-mindedness of people from the social environment.

This ranges from lewd remarks, to complaints to the landlord or employer, to adult or child bullying, to outright sexual assault. There are also disadvantages from the state side (for example, tax class, inheritance rights, education rights). Namely, because the state clearly favors marriage, a couple relationship, over a three-way relationship.

Even on a personal level, when analyzing the pros and cons of a three-way relationship, the cons outweigh the pros. A relationship between two people is already complicated, but it becomes even more difficult between three people. As in any other relationship, a three-way relationship can only work if all three partners are equal, no one is favored or dominated, and there is no jealousy.

Polyamorie - was ist dran am Liebestrend?

In practice, however, it is hard to avoid the possibility that, for example, one of the women will be more appealing to the man or that one will be better at handling the children than the other. Sooner or later, this leads to friction and tension. If we examine the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, another disadvantage becomes apparent. It appears when there are problems in the relationship. Even professional help from therapists or government agencies is not attuned to a three-way relationship. It is not for nothing that there is couples therapy, but not three-way therapy.

Realistically: The disadvantages outweigh

If one considers the aspect of advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, it comes to light relatively quickly that the disadvantages of such a relationship far outweigh the advantages. The biggest problem is the lack of social acceptance, because for almost all people in the western culture, the couple relationship is the only desirable standard.

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Living together is also more complicated for the partners in a three-way relationship, because they have to take into account many more different interests and inclinations than the two in a couple relationship. Whether a polyamorous three-way relationship would last long is therefore questionable.

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