Advantages and disadvantages of a triangular relationship

By Valérie Francès-Pecker -
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Vor- und Nachteile einer Dreierbeziehung

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What does the life of a trio look like in practice?

Most people in a relationship live together as couples, whether hetero- or homosexual couples. Occasionally, however, there are also unusual constellations outside these standards, such as a triangular relationship. The advantages and disadvantages of such a triangle relationship are explained in more detail in the following text.

Advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationshipWhat’s a three-way relationship?

Before the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship are discussed, a few ambiguities have to be cleared up. A triangle is a so-called polyamorous relationship. This means that the people in this relationship all love each other, respect each other and are open and honest with each other.

In contrast to an open relationship, free love and similar forms of living together, a polyamorous three-way relationship is not only about sex, but also about the relationships of those involved in everyday life. This quickly reveals the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship.

What are the advantages of a three-way relationship?

When the pros and cons of a tripartite relationship are discussed, many (especially men) think of sex first. Of course, there is more variety in sex in a three-way relationship than in a couple. A threesome, for example, is part of the standard program rather than the absolute exception.

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On the point of advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, the three-way relationship convinces, among other things, by the fact that the loads are distributed over three pairs of shoulders. This makes it much easier for the individual to carry them than in a couple. This applies, for example, to rent and electricity costs, expenses for food or insurance and the like.

Household tasks such as cleaning, shopping, laundry and ironing are done together. This reduces the burden on the individual and leaves more free time. Even when bringing up children, the tasks are shared and the burden on the individual is reduced. As you can see, the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship are not primarily about sex, but rather about practical living together in everyday life.

Advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationshipWhat are the disadvantages of a three-way relationship?

There are good reasons why few people live in a triple relationship. If you weigh the advantages and disadvantages of a triple relationship against each other, you will quickly see that the disadvantages outweigh the disadvantages. The biggest factor that plays a role in the pros and cons of a three-way relationship is the prejudices and narrow-mindedness of people from the social environment.

This ranges from offensive remarks to complaints to the landlord or the employer to bullying of adults or children and open sexual assaults. There is also discrimination on the part of the state (e.g. tax class, inheritance law, education law). Namely because the state clearly favours marriage, i.e. a couple’s relationship, over a three-way relationship.

At the personal level, too, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and disadvantages of a relationship of three. A relationship between two people is already complicated, but becomes even more difficult between three people. As in any other relationship, a three-way relationship can only work if all three partners are equal, none is preferred or dominated, and there is no jealousy.

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In practice, however, it is difficult to avoid, for example, that one of the women likes the man better or that one can deal better with the children than the other. Sooner or later this leads to friction and tension. If one examines the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, another disadvantage becomes apparent. This is the case when there are problems in the relationship. Even professional help from therapists or government agencies is not geared to a tripartite relationship. Not for nothing there is a couple therapy, but no triple therapy.

Realistically: The disadvantages outweigh

Looking at the advantages and disadvantages of a three-way relationship, it quickly becomes apparent that the disadvantages of such a relationship far outweigh the advantages. The biggest problem is the lack of social acceptance, because for almost all people of the western culture the couple relationship is the only desirable standard.

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Living together is also more complicated for the partners in a tripartite relationship because they have to consider many more different interests and inclinations than the two in a couple relationship. Whether a polyamorous three-way relationship would last long is therefore questionable.

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